I get on my own nerves.
It’s like I know what I have to do, but I haven’t made a move to do it. I haven’t thought about it, initiated any movement on my calendars, or just stopped. I continuously push the line, which leads me to how I feel at this moment, which is burnout. Running SistahCare Alliance alone has my body paying the price: lack of sleep, back pain flare-ups, and not having a desire to eat anything have left me with migraines, anxiety, and worry. Not having enough energy to do the things I enjoy, like writing and creating.
In the past few weeks, I’ve been in a cycle of meetings, promoting, Substack lives, recaps, and social media; when it comes time to focus on a thought I had or an observation I’ve noticed, my mind is dead. I don’t want to hear another key on my keyboard or to form a sentence that makes sense. I hate that I’ve neglected LeShea’s Garden; before there was SistahCare Alliance, it was LeShea’s Garden, previously named Three Minutes of Your Time.
I want to get back to that, and unfortunately it’s something that I have to plan like everything else, so from September 7-25 I’ve decided to take three steps back from all platforms and just breathe a little. Many would say San Diego is such a vacation city; why would you want a vacation? Well, maybe not from the city, a vacation from routine, but a margarita with an umbrella in it isn’t such a bad idea. I haven’t had a chance to find joy or appreciate the Summer eventhough I hate Summer.
Although I have nothing planned for my 40th, I’m still choosing not to work to fill the void. I would’ve loved to have some extra cash for a staycation or a train ride to LA, but as of right now I will leave that door open; a lot can happen in the next 30+ days. While I’m on this break, I will still have Substack Lives because those have been scheduled. I also will use that time to finally finish books I’ve started and write for the sake of writing.
It’s one of those things where you have momentum, and you feel anxious that change for the better will happen, so you keep going because you don’t want to lose the feeling or the moment. But that’s running me to the ground. If the momentum is supposed to stick around, then I will pick up where I left off; that’s my definition of what burnout means to me, which is not giving up the momentum. I pray that I get to a space where some of these projects can run themselves and not have to be so technical.
40th Birthday
In honor of turning the big 4-0 I decided to have my newsletter be 40% off. Which means that as long as you are a paid subscriber you will forever pay that price.
If a long-term committment isn’t your thing and you want to causually date you can always send what you can through Cash App $Lashay764.
As always I appreciate your patience and your kind words I always say I’m living, learning and healing in real-time.
It's good to take time out for yourself to regroup. This what self-care looks like. By the way, I love the previous name "Three Minutes of Your Time". I wish you the best and hope you enjoy yourself on your birthday! 🥰